Time, time...
Life is busy and I wonder why it is that I can't ever find the time to do the things I want and/or need to do.
I work full time. I can't say I'm doing something that I love or that what I do each day is so fulfilling that it's worth the time and effort that I put into it. A thought came to me recently. It's unrealistic and unhealthy to even give any attention to the thought. It keeps speaking to me and I wish it would shut up already.
"I don't want to work full time anymore"
Shut UP! I need a full time job. I should be (and am, really) thankful to have the job.
I just don't or, rather, I am just unable to make the time to do the things I need to do. I need to finish projects in my house. I need to make phone calls to clear up some chronic insurance matters. I need to clean my closets. I need to reorganize the house. I need to take better care of my plants. My car needs brakes. My upstairs bathroom is leaking from lord know where. We painted but never replaced the baseboards. I need new flooring in a big bad way.
I want to better myself. I want to find a therapist. I want to take classes in Excel and religious studies and cooking. I want more time to write, take photographs. Learn Photoshop. Return phone calls. I want to enjoy making dinner again. I want to bake just 'cause I want to, not because I'm taking dessert to a gathering. I want a massage. A facial. Smell the fucking roses.
I want to travel................
sighh
I've started reading a blog written by a woman who recently learned she has breast cancer - rather advanced - and she's telling her story as it plays out. She's terrific. Most days when she posts she closes with "Joys Today". I'm going to try that:
Today's Joys
goodnight, sweet dreams...
I work full time. I can't say I'm doing something that I love or that what I do each day is so fulfilling that it's worth the time and effort that I put into it. A thought came to me recently. It's unrealistic and unhealthy to even give any attention to the thought. It keeps speaking to me and I wish it would shut up already.
"I don't want to work full time anymore"
Shut UP! I need a full time job. I should be (and am, really) thankful to have the job.
I just don't or, rather, I am just unable to make the time to do the things I need to do. I need to finish projects in my house. I need to make phone calls to clear up some chronic insurance matters. I need to clean my closets. I need to reorganize the house. I need to take better care of my plants. My car needs brakes. My upstairs bathroom is leaking from lord know where. We painted but never replaced the baseboards. I need new flooring in a big bad way.
I want to better myself. I want to find a therapist. I want to take classes in Excel and religious studies and cooking. I want more time to write, take photographs. Learn Photoshop. Return phone calls. I want to enjoy making dinner again. I want to bake just 'cause I want to, not because I'm taking dessert to a gathering. I want a massage. A facial. Smell the fucking roses.
I want to travel................
sighh
I've started reading a blog written by a woman who recently learned she has breast cancer - rather advanced - and she's telling her story as it plays out. She's terrific. Most days when she posts she closes with "Joys Today". I'm going to try that:
Today's Joys
that first cup of coffee
green hills
my son's rockin' new haircut
red wine
a sweet good morning text from my girl
fresh sheets
a welcome home hug
the internet
There now. I feel better.Tomorrow we're taking the day off - Don's having his biopsy and we're that much closer to getting him better. Friday is his follow up appt. AND his birthday.
goodnight, sweet dreams...
posted by Anonymous G | 10:34 PM
5 Comments:
I certainly know that feeling of not ever having enough time, and I feel that it has really brought down my spirits over the past few months. It's such a vicious cycle... we work so that we have the resources to do the things we love, but we never have time to do the things we love because we're working.
I like your today's joys though--I need to do a better job on focusing my energy on the positive things in my life!
I hear ya sista! I'm right up there with you both. I can't find enough hours in the day and yet, I wake up at 4am today and lay in bed wondering when my alarm is going to go off so I can get to my training session. Me thinks I should've just stayed up that extra hour at night and accomplished something, anything.
Anyhow, I am sending positive thoughts and vibes your way to you and your honey. I hope you do something fun for his birthday and I hope you get good news! ((((((((((((((G and D))))))))))))))
*crossing fingers and toes, hoping for good things*
And ohhh---that part time work idea might be a dangerous one for me.
I never thought I'd say that! LOL
MUST be gettin' old! LOL
Oh, the places I could avoid going, the people I could be away from! (can ya tell I'm with ya on this one? LOL)
*hugs*
And always, always.....good things being wished for you and yours...
Happy happy happy birthday to Don!!
*tap tap tap*
It's not that I'm nosy (k......I am a BIT nosy.....).....just checkin' in and checkin' up since the follow up on Friday.
k.....I'm nosy.
And I'm concerned.
*hugs and prayers to you and yours*
So, how did it go? I've been thinking about you and D--
Today's joys sounds like a great idea. I know this isn't the spirit- but there are days that I just don't want the pressure of finding something joyful. :)
xoxoxo
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